The run up to the event had been filled with nervous anticipation and debate. Would Teo’s now legendary FTP and Zwift experience make him unstoppable out there on the tarmac? Would the whole event be rained off? How many bananas should one carry? Was Matt on the list already and therefore unable to take Ben’s spot? Would Goerge Dix make a sudden and surprise late appearance in a desperate attempt to hold onto his lead in the Championship? We wanted answers and, oh boy, did we get them.
The day dawned, grey and damp but looking like the real rain would hold off until our work was done. The meeting point had been determined as the Waitrose Car Park in Henley, the most middle class of venues and, it felt, the spiritual home of the Walri. The athletes gathered, nervously inspecting the rides of their competitors for the day. Tactics were discussed, games were talked, both big and small and gradually, ever so slowly we prepared for the off before realising that Kat had only just arrived so we waited a bit longer.
It was a very colourful one. Perfectly round.
Buncey
A mere 20 minutes after our intended start time we rolled out of the glamour of the car park to begin the day of adventure narrowly missing our first pedestrian of the race. For many of the competitors (including the author) it was the first time they had been in a bicycle race where drafting, tactics and bunch riding would play a part. On our way to the starting point we received our rolling briefing from Ed riding alongside the main pack, one hand on the bars, the other gesturing eloquently. Much like a ski instructor or a rowing coach along a tow path.
It was to be a rolling start but the location of the start line was a mystery to many which resulted in an excited ten minute chorus of “Have we started yet?”.
Stage 1 – Pishill (really) Climb
We were off! Everybody got caught up in the excitement of the moment, the lead riders so much so that two of them crossed the central line and almost went head on into oncoming traffic, that would have made a short day of it! This stage was nice and flat to start with with a steep climb in the last KM. It very quickly became clear that there were two groups of riders in the competition, the bigger boys up front and then a second race taking place a few hundred metres behind but there was commitment being shown across the board and generally good natured and competitive riding to be had until the last 500m which descended into swearing, sweating and the general questioning of why we were doing this at all.
It was a victory for Teo, something we would see a lot of on that fateful day in July.
He had a huge beard and foul yellow teeth
Kat
The peloton reformed at the top of the hill, congratulations and commiserations were flying around along with the expected accusations of shirking and foul play. After a quick banana it was off to the next start point via an exhilarating downhill rush.
Stage 2 – Hill Road Climb
Short. Steep. Painful. Legs not recovered from the previous climb this one was going to hurt. It hurt. I am sure the front of the race was extremely exciting with some big efforts being put in. I was far back, grimacing, sweating, crying.
A win for Teo again. Quelle surprise!
We met at the top under a willow tree where we sheltered from a sudden downpour. It was nice there.
Stage 3 – The B4009 Sprint
Pithily named this was an all out drubbing for 2.5km but was the first time we saw some real tactics coming into play with an agonisingly slow rolling start. Nobody wanted to be the first to put their head above the parapet and then BANG. The hammer went down, riders tucked in, loins were girded and we were off. Lots of close racing and closing down of lines, the odd elbow being thrown (this didn’t happen) and a lot of grit demonstrated. We once again saw the bigger boys off the front with the mid pack working together to try and close the gap under the instruction of Roman but just not quite having the Watts or the Wills to make it.
Victory went to Ed S followed closely by Ed H with Teo battered into 3rd place for once.
Stage 4 – Beggarsbush Hill
The most technical of the stages featuring a corner, two zebra crossings and three sets of speed bumps as we passed through the airfield. I don’t think much happened here.
Winner: Teo.
Stage 5 – Beggarsbush Hill Part 2
Back the way we came seeing our first mechanical of the race with a puncture and excitement towards the back of the pack with Andy S running himself off the road (or being run off the road by Matt Maguire, depending on who you believe) and Kat Barker taking full advantage, steaming in ahead of him before eating several packets of Mini Cheddars.
Winner? Yep… you’ve guessed it. Teo again.
Stage 6 – Watlington Sprint
I beat Matt Maguire by two inches in a sprint for the finish. That’s all that matters on this stage.
Stage 7 – How Hill Climb
This vicious late in the game climb was the one we had been dreading. With 45km of hard cycling in the legs this was now all a mental game. Who would be tough enough to see it out? We were joined on this by two strangers who sailed past on the flat but were then left in the dust on the climb. It was good to see them dominated by the Walrus spirit. Ha!
I couldn’t see at the end of this, everything started to go black.
Pete took the flag chased by Teo and followed up by the Humphreys boy.
I hit him right between the eyes, incredible stuff. I was about 100m away.
Pete Sammon
Stage 8 – The Henley Chase
Finally the grand finale was here. Just over 9km downhill finishing in a fast flat back into Henley. It was also a chase stage. A chance for those of us who were the slower sea pigs down the back to reclaim some points. The first group of the four pigs dwelling at the bottom of the points would set off first, followed two minutes later by the middle of the pack candidates and then chased 90 seconds after that by the bigger boys from the top of the table.
The first 2km were all downhill and flat out. Off we went, wind whistling past our ears. I was being chased closely by Andy S, cheekily sitting in my slip stream and then… Disaster! A rough bit of rode and the breakneck speed did for my rear tyre. I flipped the bike and set about mending just as the second group zipped past and then realised I didn’t have the right tool just after the last group disappeared into the distance along with any hope of a quick rescue.
WhatsApp group to the rescue I thought before discovering that in the deepest reaches of the Henley countryside mobile signal is not as readily available as one might hope and so there followed a clip-clopping couple of KM of walking to get to a pub where I interrupted a rather tense business negotiation to ask a grumpy landlord for a WiFi code in a rather bizarre end to a joyful day out.
